vsd occlusion of my beloved hubby

Hari khamis 20/02/14 abang balik bawa berita.... hospital call... bajet pembedahan untuk menampal jantung berlubang yang menelan kos rm13k sudah lulus. Kena masuk wad pada ahad, operate hari isnin. Gulp! susulan dari pemeriksaan pada tahun lepas. Sebelum kami kawin..waktu tu tengah wat urusan cetak kad kawin.. saya temankan abang pegi husm untuk pemeriksaan. Ada dalam entry ini.

Hari jumaat dan sabtu kami suami isteri cuba untuk tidak layankan sangat perasaan. Macam-macam yang terdetik di hati. Tapi kami tahu... masanya akan tiba dan lambat atau cepat kami terpaksa hadapi. Pembedahan perlu dibuat sebelum abang mencecah 40 tahun. Takut mudah semput katanya. 

pada hari ahad 23 feb 2014.. check in HUSM Kubang Kerian, wad 1 selatan (surgeri lelaki). Jenis pembedahan ialah VSD Occlusion. Ape tu? sila tanya doktor ye.

gilir-gilir ngan abang... saya pun antara insan yang tak berupaya gak buat masa ni. Perut tu dah 3 bulan lebih. Baring pun nampak boyot. Masa berdiri lagi la meriah penonjolannya. Lenguh jugak hospital sediakan satu kerusi je untuk penjaga. Syok juga layan fb sesambil baring ni.

Abang suka memancing ngan ipad ni. Dapat ikan nanti kita bakar ye sayang..hehe

ini je yang paling menyeksakan abang. Berkali-kali dia duk aduh-aduh ngan tangan yang cucuk camni. Manja gedik tul. Tengok budak kecik katil seblah rilek selamba je jalan merata ngan tangan gini.

ari kejadian...ari isnin.. abang mulakan pagi dengan tido.... dan tido memanjang. cubit pipi pun tak sedar.. liat nak bangun... 

ni dalam pukul 11 pagi. Patient seblah pun kes yang sama. Abang duk gelisah je tengok. Pasni turn dia.. 

dapat injection, telan ubat dan jugak antibiotik dalam iv drip. Abang dibawa ke ruang depan OT... duk berselawat dan baca apa-apa doa yang patut.

15 minit tunggu di ruangan ni

abang... saya ada ni...

doc cakap, awak bleh je teman and masuk tengok kejap. Saya duk kat pintu... terbaca notis kat situ ada amaran ibu mengandung tak boleh berada disitu sebab bahaya radiasi x-ray. Terus saya blah cepat-cepat masuk balik wad.. baring-baring jap.. selawat dan solat asar. Dalam kul 6.20 both parents. Mama abah dan in law datang.. waktu melawat. saya cakap abang masih di OT.

abang baru kuar OT. Mengigil jugak tengok abang.. dengan wayar berselirat. Tak sedar. Saya panggil abang.. ada respon.. buka mata sikit. Tapi saya tau abang masih separa sedar. 

pindah masuk ke wad. Abang kata pening.. tak cakap banyak sangat. Cuma komplen tak selesa ngan bantal hospital. Seb baik saya bawa bantal baby. Kononnya nak letak kat belakang ibu mengandung. Takpe lah.. abang tido la ye...

pukul 12.00 malam... yey... hero sedar sepenuhnya. Nak gi toilet. Tak syok kencing guna tiub. Hahaha... macho gak takmo dia guna wheelchair.. jalan kedek-kedek cam budak baru bersunat. Pembedahan tu melalui salur darah dekat pangkal paha. So.. sakit kut nak jalan.

selasa pagi.. hero dah nampak bermaya skit. Tapi masih dengan ketidoran. Saya duk whatsup adik-adik jer... 

report ECG... tak paham

lakaran organ yang dibedah. Tu hitam secoet tu ialah kawasan berlubang yang telah ditampal. Pasni jantung tu dah takde kebocoran dan jantung seblah kiri dah tak terbeban cam dulu.

buat echo scan kira-kira kul 4 petang. Yeah.. lubang pada jantung dah tertutup. Alhamdulillah. 

sejujurnya pada hari jumaat ini saya tak sihat. Tekak sangat pedih.. nak demam rasanya.. kerap sangat mandi.... tengah malam pun mandi sebab cuaca panas. 

my beautiful little plum

yeayy!!! i see u.... my beautiful little plum.

Tiny... really the size of a plum. It's such a miracle to see you. Breathing little one in my womb. I love you so much. Mata tak berkelip tengok monitor. Haritu nampak cam biji kacang je. Skang dah nampak kepala, badan, kaki... jantung yang laju berdenyut... dup dup dup.

Ok.... ni baby... satu je... bukan kembar..

Aku dengar je... cam tak kisah je.. mata duk tengok lagi skrin. Sengih-sengih cam kerang busuk. Heeeeee..... my baby!!! Waaaaaa.... sukenyerrrrr.....

Perut aku dah hebat tul penonjolannya. Berat badan tak bertambah sangat pun since i vomited a lot. Kadang-kadang aku lupa makan vitamin. Rasa lagi loya makan vitamin tu pahit sangat.

Banyak gak nurse amik darah. Katanya banyak skit test makmal untuk anak sulung.

Aku tengok-tengok balik catatan doktor ngan nurse dalam buku pink tapi banyak yang tak paham. Buruk tul tulisan.

CNY 2014 and 11 weeks baby plum

sesungguhnya sangat penat bila asyik muntah dan muntah.. haiyyoooo.... gerak skit dah pening. Ni cuti CNY rasanya kepala duk ting tong sentiasa.

Semalam keluar dinner ngan family in law. Lokasi: Restoran Kahfi Wakaf Bharu. Ikan bakar, sotong celup tepung, kailan masin, tomyam, fresh orange. Alhamdulillah.... rezeki anak... saya tak muntah..yey! Cuma terus lelap dalam kereta on the way home.

camne ye nak ilangkan sakit belakang ngan sakit bontot ni.. aiii...

Your wee baby is now comparable in size to a plum!

Go ahead... we'll wait while you run to the kitchen and hold one in your hand to marvel at the life form unfolding inside of you.

Your baby's favorite game right now is exploring their face and especially their mouth.

Not only does this game improve your child's newly acquired voluntary muscle coordination of their limbs, but it also starts hard-wiring their hand nerves for newly gained sensations as they're now able to experience in their hands, because their palms can now "feel"!

Extensive facial exploration also primes their facial nerves by setting the stage for a lifetime of subtle sensations from kissing to spitting!

Final interesting fetal developments for the week: their newly acquired swallow reflex, and the beginnings of a sense of smell, which when combined with their maturing taste buds, will provide your baby with their first experiences of taste and smell in the womb.

Yeah, we're also curious what wombs smell like. We'd like to think warm and homey, which just might be the smell of freshly baked cookies.

And How's Mom Doing?

If you're still enduring the dubious joys of morning sickness, it should finally be subsiding to the point of non-existence by the end of this week.

If your nausea's not subsiding, we're sorry, but you might be one of the unlucky 1% with Hyperemesis Gravidarum - in which you puke every day pretty much till you give birth. You can find out more about hyperemesis gravidarum here.

For the rest of you no-longer pukers, the growing placenta combined with your little one's developing pituitary gland have given you a break on hormone production, so now you can focus on the fact you're about to enter the second trimester (aka "when you become a lumbering human pod") of pregnancy.

At this point you should be well on your way to making a conscious effort to gradually increase your consumption of healthy, vitamin-rich food, but remember: THIS DOES NOT MEAN LIFE IS NOW AN OPEN BUFFET.

Actually, it's quite the opposite, there is no other time in life where it's absolutely critical that you be a food snob, and one who only ingests the cleanest, purest, healthiest of foods.

It's pretty obvious if you think about it: if it's not good for you (and fast food, junk food, and greasy and/or other processed and preserved foods are NOT good for you, no matter how tasty they seem), then it won't be good for your developing baby.

Eating Tip: If you're still hungry after dinner, don't default to having extra ice cream for dessert. Try skipping the non-nutritious options and opt for a more filling and protein-loaded handful of almonds.

So if you haven't yet gotten the message: good nutrition and an active lifestyle are absolutely vital for your baby's brain and body development.

Last thoughts for the week: make sure you’re taking "me-time" to center yourself and focus on your body's interactions with your baby. You can do this by listening to relaxing or inspiring music, reading good books, thinking happy thoughts - you know - all the mentally stimulating stuff that puts you in a good mood and makes your pregnancy feel like a positive experience.

In other words, watching international news isn't recommended. The better you treat your body and mind now, the healthier and happier your child will be once "they're